PAIN

PAIN - What is it ?

Is it an absence of happiness or presence of sadness ?

Is it knowing something you wouldn't want to hear - breaking the shell that clouds your own understanding of you ?

Is it someone ripping you naked to baking sun ?

Is it one of those seasons to your heart like the winter to trees ?

Is it a self-chosen present to keep the balance of emotions ?

Is it the bitter fruit that you taste ?

What ever be the case....you are not alone all this time, there is a guiding hand in the form of relatives, friends, love, parents. For those who are far away from all have memories of their loved ones to reflect on, the silence with God and inner-self.

For this is a gift by him, though heavy and hard, a gift to know yourselves better.

I wish !

I wish I wish I wish....

You make me feel special,
You make me feel new,
You make me feel loved,
You make me feel wanted.

I love the way you kiss me,
I love the way you touch me,
I love the way you hug me,
I love the way you complete me.

I wish i could say this,
I wish i would experience this,
I wish..I wish...I wish !!

To be NRI's/Today's Dogs

Should I call this a learning experience or a dog's life. I guess the latter would be appropriate - and i am one the millions dogs out trying to put up a brave face, when most in the society would look at us and sing " Who let the DOGS out........" and more and more so when the countries are rich with history and are developed, fueling their thoughts are RECESSION and CHEESE MOVING ASIA. I wouldn't blame any of my esteemed counterparts or citizens from these societies as they are just at the start of the emotional curve 'U'- Denial, Anger, Fear, Sad, Acceptance and Moving on. I only wish they have a shorter U curve -- 'Get moving or the ground beneath will be COLD'

If that is what the society is doing to me, take a look at my routine activities -- at the age of 24 i have 'mastered' the art of cooking, which my grandpa vehemently says is a womens task - no one can beat them to taste, and my dad has been struggling till now. It is my only way of survival being a vegetarian in the land where animals are grown with balanced diet. When you cook you an't far off from washing utensils either - so in a day of 24 hours i spend 2-3 hours daily on these activites. My mom has always kept technology aside when it comes to washing clothes and i am practicing it sincerely - not because i am comfortable with it, but "Paisa karvatha hain" - Every weekend i slog and slog half my day trying to get rid of dirt. The rest of the weekend, but for partying time :- Party culture of these people and drinking a wine at every possible opportunity is something that keeps you goings. "Pecks with pegs" -- It took me a semester to learn - not the hand but the face should go take the lead when it comes to socializing - a telugu saying put its rightly "Dog made to do takeover Lion's throne will prefer to be gutter lying", i will be hooked up in the computer trying to catch up with friends and family over skype and voip respectively. And some among the millions take the pain of being in the hotels cleaning tables and dishes, taking orders - not because they love it, but "paisa sabh kuch karvatha hain".....

Every week the things remain the same, grocesary, cooking, cleaning, eagerness to meet some one special in parties (with no luck as usual) and 'glorifying' to parents and friends about life here ! Life moves on and soon the loyal one will be recognized - NRI they become, at least 70% of them succeed. Abroad - student life -- It was choice made and a chance taken :D

Other Side

"the other side of it is always green" !

I was a student 4 years back, wanting to step in to corporate world, wanting to prove - don't know what ! After a certain two and half years, though i was fairing well at job and was happy with it, i wanted to live the student life again - a life with less responsibilities and carefree, at least i see it that way. By fortune or stupidity i ended up pursuing the wish - studying abroad !

No more than 2 months into the course i started to miss the work life, probably the power of money was missed, the transition from spend thrift to budgets is tough, may be differential treatment offered to a student & a professional by world, May be it was just that i had to do too many case studies !

And now as i near the end of the course i fear getting back to industry. The fear that i can never become a student - full time for rest of my life. I will be learning all life but with roles to perform, too much for my thin shoulders to take on. It looks scary, doesn't it ?

The other side for once doesn't look greener, not because it has changed but the fear of loosing this side had made it look bleaker. I will get back the freedom and power of money, but i for ever might loose my student life. As i read more into it i start to realize that the other side was never greener. It was just my perception; eyes closed - not a dream ! eyes opened - not a reality ! Ooph they were just the same coin !!

be-LIE-ve

Modern world with full of opportunities and challenges ! Modern society full of glitter and glamor ! Modern people vibrant and outgoing ! Wait --

'Modern' - is it lucrative ? Does it bring in Belief or is just that we decide to believe that this is lucrative. Isn't it naive of us to fall for the trick? Immature?

I have made my own choice and so shall all of you make your very own decision. Believe me we all are big personalities, our believes for us are the start and the end of the world. Believes drive us - opinions, arguments, decisions etc.... at least we claim ! I do it !

I do what i believe in - most common way of defense when hurried !
I believe that this is the right way to .... - My way or High way !
I believe - My belief is my strength - Do we really know what we are talking about?

Is it not like the word itself - A 'lie' - that against the misery that we feel, a truth that we are proud of when surrounded !

Use it and gain the pleasure of having some one's trust - easy it
Use it and bring in calamity to the world - evoke emotions
Use it - it is free ! Sell the world as you see it (oops as you 'be-LIE-ve')

Conversation !

Interesting Conversation with an European friend (He)

He : Hey Ca Va ! (how are you ?)
Me : Ca Va (Kind of i am fine.....), Merci !
He : How is it going, what is happening in north part of your country ?
Me : It is fine hear and Nantes is a pretty good city. Are you referring to Kashmir or any issue in specific
He : No not Kashmir, it is some temple issue, how can people do it?
Me : Oh yeah the Ayodhya one, you know everywhere we have extremists
He : Ok, but don't you think you it is shame for the country as big and democratic as India.
Me : I donot know... but now that it has caught your attention more than big sporting event happening in India.... may be..
He : No offence intended but the sporting event as well is making news for the wrong reasons..
Me : I guess the world is getting to hear the wrong things happening in india much more (thanks to the TRP infight by media), which i would say isn't that bad.
He : But 2 big scams in such short time; sports one and the IT firm. Do you think it reduces your image?
Me : What do you think? Has it changed the way you looked upon India
He : I am skeptical about taking a career over there. I heard so many good things about India and its potential that i started to take a serious consideration of moving to India for work. But looking at the magnitude and frequency of the events i am concerned and worried.
Me : Nice to see that young europe is looking to India as a desitation for work. I am suprisingly pleased. But i would suggest none of these incidents that concerns you have stalled the common man's life. It is just the part of being a country of such volume of people who are democratic. Individual goals sometime superceed national goals.
He : Oh, yeah too crowdy man...
Me : I guess you can understand...you will need patience and loads of it when you move in to our place.you guys would see that as a major change if at all you find to manage jobs there. Too much of competition !!
He : We get the previlage in your land, i know that.
Me : We say it respect and you call it previlage...so chill and have fun through you thesis defence...if you need any help let me know. Need to hurry up for my lame lectures !! See you
He : See you !

Interesting that young Europe is following us, they are seeing professional stability in India but are concerned about social stability. Should we all work to address this or still get torn apart for the benefit of a very few ?

Blame it on Media !!

Media has been the real pain of this Commonwealth Games ! You say Beijing was better - Reflect on this -- tight control on media all the 2008 Olympics blips were sealed and thrown into dustbin. May be we should also have followed the pattern. Sometimes such restrictions give a positive boost to the event of this mega scale - with no pull outs the least(thanks to bad media, headed by our very own Indians). You were given an unprecedented walk through the stadiums for understanding the readiness and what did you guys ended up doing? Yeah right - Finding faults for TRP's. For a second take a breather and ask yourselves - What is your role in the society, to the games to the commonwealth games? Only if you had time for an introspection !!

I know you don't have time to think about moral's and ethics in this competitive world. Do you? If you had then how on earth can you keep showing the footage of where, how and which part did the police man touch (an accident turned into breaking news) a female activist (referring to the recent incidents in Andra) so many times? It is not one channel to blame, all the 14 news channels (national, local channels part of cable programs) took the poor activist to a ride in the name of Justice. These vulgar analysis were being done my fellow women who happened to be doing 'justice' to their profession of reporter and reader respectively ! Wow Media, what a 'Justice'! [Mind you even before the media took on this storm the police was reprimanded for his sudden rush of blood with a transfer and strict warning, apology sent and accepted by the parties involved.]

So it doesn't surprise me that if MEDIA can do such a thing to women (in a country where history preaches us to treat females with utmost respect) for TRP's then it takes the commonwealth for a ride. Is this what the 'Aam Janta' wants? Certainly not! I take this opportunity to call upon the media to be considerate and stop playing on my country names for your TRP's. I want the best in the world to come and compete in my Capital. I want the kid's of my nation to be inspired by these wonderful athletes and make it big some day ! Please don't rob this opportunity from the hands of Young India with a 'Dil'.

And to all the athletes out their a quote from the Champion of Champion's : Freeman -“As an athlete I was pretty ruthless and very focussed, I was very unfazed by any kind of external goings-on, once I knew what my target was, I stayed committed. Nothing could really take me away from an arena of competition. My priority was just to compete and compete against the best there was,”.

Come and make history ! Not often will you guys get a chance to win over the hearts of 1.3 billions !